Happy Monday All!
Almost two years ago I wrote a blog post about someone who, unbeknownst to him, epically changed my life. I decided not to post as it was just too personal and anyone that knows me knows – I don’t do feelings well. So six months later I edited, prepared to post and once again decided “Eh, just not the right time...” Well, after a long conversation last Friday, practically 18 months later, without question: Monday was the day.
So here it is... Go crazy...
A few weeks ago, I was scolded… I followed my bootcamp instructor, CHRIS TYE WALKER, on twitter in which he reciprocated. Though, by doing so - he discovered that I TOO was a personal trainer. My secret, I held EVER so tight when going to his classes at Barry's Bootcamp, was now OUT.
"How could you not tell me you’re a TRAINER?!"
"I wanted you to treat me like everyone else!"
I finally came out - and it felt amazing. It was only this winter when I was finally able to tell Chris how much he’s done for me in the last several months. He not only helped me get through a sorta shitty time, he also became a mentor to me in countless ways. Now that I was OUT – I was not only able to share it with Chris, but better yet – with all of you.
You’re all motivating and trying to make such important and powerful changes in your lives. You write me emails, comment on my posts and it makes me so happy to know that you're working so hard to only better yourself. Anything is something and you should all look in the mirror EVERY DAY and commend yourselves for taking the first step toward an even better you.
But I want you all to know that sometimes I TOO think, “I’m giving up...” That I TOO want a "Biggie Fry " & six piece chicken nuggets (with sweet and sour sauce) at Wendys. (Uch, Dude I so do.) And, like today, that I TOO can say, “I’M – SO – DAMN - TIRED! FUCK MY WORKOUT!” But most importantly that I TOO look to someone to inspire and motivate me.
Yes, I’m a no-nonsense personal trainer. I’m healthy. I’m tough. I’m strong. I often use heavier weights than some of the guys in my classes… (Calm down I didn’t mention your name…) But being a personal trainer doesn’t mean that I’m a machine through and through. In reality, I’m really just very human.
Earlier this year, I went through a really gnarly break-up, which basically sent me on a little vacay into the deep depths of HELL. A VERY rough time left me feeling VERY “un-Lisa-like.” My food AND exercise were slipping, my decision making was at best sub par, I was in a pretty much permanent bad mood and it all just needed to change STAT. I knew I needed to get a grip and get one fast. So, during the summer, I got my self-loathing-ass up and drove to a place I hadn’t been in months — Barry’s Bootcamp. It was Friday. It was 2. It was Chris’ famous CIRCUIT CLASS. Now I've done circuits for years - but this weekly circuit class is like something I’ve never seen. 60 mins of: Mad Sweat. Red Face. And that $35 you spent at The Dry Bar? Wasted.
But, from day one – I was hooked. Week after week I continued going to “Circuits.” Then Chris’ Monday class, Wednesday class – I couldn’t stop. It was in these classes throughout the week where I was able to sweat out my anger, my hurt, my sadness - even think about ALL of my happiness and excitement. All of it. EVERYTHING I was trying to make sense of that day (good AND bad,) was resolved in class. It was about working through something so hard, yet so fun; so excruciating, but so exhilarating - that helped me hash out all I had in me, before I stepped in that room.
Chris could be one of the greatest trainers I have ever worked with or known in my entire life. He can challenge anyone walking in that room. He is beyond educated and always learning. He brings passion into EVERY workout and will explain to you EXACTLY why you’re working one way as opposed to another. He is the highest caliber of fitness professional and someone I'm just sorta pumped to know. The man is ZERO bullshit and nonsense. Chris doesn’t want to be everyone’s best friend in that room, Chris wants to WORK everyone in that room. And without fail, EVERY week – he does. Chris has taught me, pushed me, encouraged me, rewarded me & been there when he hasn’t even realized. His music is a 10, his motivation is a 100, he screams at me when I jump off the treadmill (OH TRUST ME – HE DOES…) & screams FOR me when I reach a crazy new speed. His classes are just hard as FUCK (we’re being real here - relax,) and I love every single second of them.
Striving to be the BEST I could in that class, to reach that higher speed, that steeper incline, that heavier weight – all with the push from Chris - was what helped me get "old Lisa" back. Oh, she’s back – she’s back with a vengeance. Die Hard 3 style. Now, I only hope that everything Chris has done for me, I can do for even just one of you.
I want you all to be proud of yourselves, love yourselves, know that YES, YOU CAN. Whatever it is – YOU CAN. I want you to accept your bad days and only use them to motivate a GOOD day. I want you to push yourself when you think you JUST. CAN’T. HANDLE. IT. ANYMORE. Those days when you are over the whole thing? When you’re super annoyed, sad, angry, just really fucking tired? When you’re lying to yourself saying “I don’t even care anymore.” Yes you do. You SO do. And everyday I want you to remember that. Let's be realistic. Your ultimate goal may not happen NOW, tomorrow, even next month, but the small changes you make overtime – I PROMISE - will result in HUGE gains in the long run. Trust me, I know.
There's a reason I push my clients as hard as I know they're capable. There's a reason why I'm notoriously known for allowing ZERO slack in any of my classes or perhaps even being called "the tough one." (Yes, I know - that's the nice version....) And there's a reason why hearing "I can't," only drives me to show every client why THEY CAN. Because, I know. Now, I only hope I can help, support and inspire YOU, even just a little bit, along the way.
I will be forever grateful for finding CTW. He not only helped me find some pretty decent “guns,” he, most importantly, help me find my smile.
Be kind to yourself.